Codependency
Let’s talk codependency. You may think this doesn’t apply to you but it is so prevalent and slid under the radar that once found it can be a huge piece to the healing puzzle. Breaking free of codependent patterns can help you reclaim more of your true self. We can be codependent with coaches, friends, parents or significant others. Maybe you have an addict in your family who you focus on supporting their needs rather than your own. Maybe it’s not that, but you put others before yourself anyway because in your subconscious perception it keeps you safe. It keeps you loved.
I am someone who has dealt with major forms of codependency behaviors that I had no idea about. The above codependent patterns are easier to see. They are low hanging fruit. But often we miss the other forms of codependency. Needing others to make decisions for us. Hopping on google when we have an unfamiliar symptom. Relying on doctors to tell us what’s wrong with us and what we need. We go outside of ourselves to find answers, when the real answers are within ourselves. In the form of intuition.
Why do we exhibit codependent behaviors? In my opinion it is to create a sense of safety. A sense of acceptance. However, the true safety comes from the adult inside of us. The adult that we didn’t have for so long. When we are kids and experience dysfunction in our lives and/or family structures, we create a protective personality. That personality often chooses to meet the needs of others over our own to keep us in the pack, so that we don’t lose our parents’ love. And when that personality is created, unless we identify and work through it, we can still have it as adults. Functioning in dysfunction. It does not have to remain that way. Once we learn that we don’t need permission, validation, reassurance, or approval from anyone but ourselves, those patterns start to fall off. You must be courageous to step into this new way of being. To risk being uncomfortable temporarily. I believe you can do it.
A good place to start is with creating boundaries. With creating boundaries is the realization that you are not responsible for others’ feelings about your choices. And it is a choice you make everyday to remain true to your higher self. To remind that inner child inside that you are an adult now. You are here to run the show, to keep you safe. It’s not easy, but it comes with new beliefs you never realized you had. New opinions formed on your own and not adapted from people deemed “authority figures”. So many people have lost their sense of self, or never really realized who they truly are because of the expectations of who we should be. Sometimes we have to walk through fire to get to that whole sense of being. I’m here for it. Are you?
