Healing is not linear
I took a break from this blog as I was feeling very de-motivated over the holidays and the beginning of this year. It’s so true how healing is not linear. We all want to read a success story to feel hopeful about our own circumstances. I felt like a failure to not be able to give that to those reading this. However, as I remind myself of how far I’ve come I realize that I’m not too far off from where I want to be. My focus has been what I’m lacking and resisting where I’m at. I’m learning to accept my current state and know that healing is coming, it’s happening now, whether I realize it or not. This is an opportunity to retrain my focus on what’s good and I’m recommitting to that practice.
What I’ve learned from this process is that there is no perfect protocol for healing. Over the past three years I have found myself coming up with these steps of healing: “I’ll take the binder, then do the kill protocol, then take the gut healing supplements, all the while eating animal based, and whalaaah be cured!”. It’s not so easy. You can’t plan for the hiccups that come up along the way. And there are a lot of those. I didn’t expect to have side effects from the binder, or not tolerate all the herbs of the kill protocol, or have a hard time digesting meat…There is no perfect protocol, it’s about finding what works best for you.
At this point I do think that for most, including myself, it’s a multi-pronged approach. I think it’s amazing how some people have healed with brain retraining alone. I really do think it’s awesome. Do I think it’s realistic for everyone? No. And here’s why: nervous system dysregulation is the root of all illness in my opinion. It starts on a spiritual/emotional level and then manifests into physical whether we realize it or not. There are patterns of trauma ingrained in the way we conduct ourselves and react to everyday occurrences. Do you ever wonder why one person can eat a piece of sushi and get a parasite and the other can walk off just fine? A friend told me that our nervous system is like a blueprint, no one nervous system is the same . We all react differently to occurrences in our life. Maybe that teacher yelling at you when you were 8 sticks with you and that feeling of unworthiness peaks it’s head out later, all stemming from that one event. The trauma factor is a whole other hole to dig at another time, but my point is that working on calming down the nervous system and changing our patterns of how we interact with life, that is the root. But, once we are at the point where we are affected by mold, parasites, bad bacteria and the like, our body often needs extra outside support to be able to get the immune system back online and come into homeostasis. And that’s ok. It should always be an approach that looks at the mind, body, spirit.
That all being said, here is where I’m at: I’ve been on a detox protocol for the last 4-5 months working with specific detox practitioners. It’s expensive and my expectations have been high. I’m not seeing the strides I thought, but it’s also humbled me in reminder that healing takes time. Especially when you are trying to heal at a cellular level. It’s not black and white. During this time, I’ve relaxed some of my eating habits where I still am eating whole foods, but have allowed back in some sugar such as honey, fruit, and maple syrup. And I am happy about it. Our bodies can’t fight infections with restriction. Our body needs glucose to thrive and we can only fight infections if our body is thriving. The diet resonating with me right now is pro-metabolic. On the same wave length as Ray Peat but finding what works and doesn’t work for my body has been key. I’m still working on that part. My gut is not healed yet. That is a long process and one that takes a lot of trial and error. But I’m getting there. I did my first liver flush in March and passed 10 stones! I have faith in my body’s ability to heal. We are always healing. Keep the faith!
