Inspiration…
What does it mean to you? What are you doing when you typically get that hit of inspiration? How does it feel in the body? What does it have to do with illness?
I’ve figured out that this blog is not just silo-d to a teaching platform to share my learnings as I dive deep into the valley of my soul. It is carrying that wisdom with every new post, however I find that philosophical expression helps guide the heart when feeling lost.
It has taken me about a month of feeling lost to feel inspired again. Inspired to share. Inspired to explore my passion of writing that I have loved since I was a child. But I find I can’t just sit at a computer and write. Has that ever worked? That is why novelists get writer’s block and teenagers pull all-nighters to complete an essay…
Being inspired can be so many things, and to me it carries with it such a high vibrational state that when it shines it’s light, I can live above any discomfort I feel in that moment. High vibrational feelings, such as being inspired, are good for the soul, good for the heart, and can keep us moving forward every day. Over the past month I have found myself very uninspired. I took a step backwards after getting our couch cleaned and became a ball of inflammation, barely being able to sit on the couch or be in the same room as it. We even considered getting a new couch and went to the furniture store with that intention. Que my need to “fix it”. I continued my brain retraining during that time and didn’t go down the rabbit hole too far even though I was being triggered day in and day out. It’s hard to feel inspired when you are in a “dip”. But like everything, that stage was temporary. I seem to be back to my baseline. I am hopeful. I feel inspired.
When I look back at myself as a child, with such a huge imagination, what drove that? It was inspiration. Inspired is a feeling you can bring to yourself at any age. I have reminded myself of what inspiration feels like regardless if there is an action taken on the other side of it. Just the mere feeling of being inspired, similar to the feeling of gratitude, can be generated through visualization. Through WANTING to feel that way.
Now for some TMI: I’ll be honest with you, my bouts of inspiration and the need to write happen when I’m in front of the mirror, looking for blemishes in my face. It sounds like a bad, crazy habit right? I used to think I was distracting myself from feeling the uncomfortable sensations in my body. And that was and still is partially true. When I feel faint, bloated, and weird, my escape is to go to the mirror, look for blemishes, and “get rid of them”. I’m learning now to sit with the discomfort. It became a bad habit, but I also realized that while doing it, I always tend to get inspired. I let my thoughts flow. I don’t monitor them and I don’t judge them. That is the key. I become open. I’m not controlling every part of me and dissecting every thought that comes through. I allow myself to receive.
If you are feeling lost in this moment, you are not alone. You don’t even have to be dealing with chronic symptoms to feel that way. But I ask you, how would you RATHER be feeling right now? We can all generate the better feelings in our body at anytime. Note: I am not saying to suppress or ignore emotions. It’s important to acknowledge and allow what’s trying to come through first. If you’ve already done that or if it’s a chronically low vibrational state, I would try to remember what that feeling of inspiration feels like in the body. What an exciting feeling! I struggled with allowing myself to feel high vibrational states, such as inspiration, because I didn’t think I deserved to feel joy or happy when my body was in complete disarray and I couldn’t figure it out. I thought I needed to meet that low vibration. I was wrong. And really, that low vibration is where I was before these symptoms came about. It’s all about the moment, right? We have the constant free will to change our emotional state every minute of every day through awareness.
So, I ask you, whatever you are going through because as humans we are all going through something, collectively and individually: how do you get inspired?
